A Letter from a "CIO" (cry it out) adult

Lately I've been seeing lots of posts about mothers who have written "letters" as their infant explaining how when the mom lets the baby "cry it out" the infant feels alone, lost, unloved, and even though the infant eventually goes to sleep themselves and is quiet, how the infant still misses their mother but has resigned to the knowledge that they are unloved at nap time.  Well I hate to break it to the writers of these letters, but infants can't write, and what they are saying is just what they think and feel the infant is experiencing.  I am an adult now, and my mom let me "cry it out" when I was a baby, and I can write a letter, so here it is.

Dear Mom,

I just want to take a minute and thank you so much for loving me enough to let me "cry it out" when I was a baby.  As an adult and a new mother who is also sleep training her child to "cry it out" I am learning how much you truly do love me.  Thank you for understanding that as an infant, I have no concept of what is really important for my health.  All I want is attention, I did whatever I could to get it.  Thank you though for understanding that learning to soothe myself to sleep was and is a skill I needed to learn.  There are many reasons why I am so grateful for this, and I want to make a list of a few of them.

Thank you for understanding that sleep is one of the most important parts of a child's life.  Thank you for understanding that not all sleep is created equal, and that long, uninteruppted sleep is crucial to brain maturation.  Thank you for understanding that STUDIES done by real psychologists and doctors have proven that infants and children who don't get uninterupted sleep periods at night, (or to say those who wake up every two to four hours for a comfort nursing or a snuggle with mom or dad) are much more likely to become adult insomniacs and have sleep problems.  Thank you so much for allowing me to learn to sleep through the night by myself, so that now, as an adult, I can go to sleep quickly without problems.

Thank you for understanding that even though I crave attention, that sleep is more important.  Thank you for understanding that even though your heart hurt to hear me cry those first few nights when you left me in my crib, and you felt like the worst parent ever, that you didn't give in to me, and that you helped me learn that I can go sleep on my own.  It is a skill that has blessed me my whole life.  Through going to college and having many different roommates, many of them had big trouble going to sleep and staying asleep.  I haven't asked them specifically but I would bet that as infants their mothers always went to them when they started to cry at night or during nap time, and those habits they learned at even such a young age have affected them for the rest of their lives.  Thank you for preventing that in me, and teaching me the importance of doing the same for my children.

Thank you also for understanding that a goods night sleep results in a very happy baby.  Thank you for letting me cry so that I could go to sleep, stay asleep, and wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and ready for the day.  Ready to play, learn, and explore without the slow mind not enough sleep produces in everyone, especially babies.

And last, thank you for understanding the FACTS and the RESEARCH.  Thanks for understanding that even though hearing you baby cry him or herself to sleep is very, very difficult, that it is showing your child you truly do love them, and respect their need for sleep.  It is a habit that still blesses me today.  Thank you so much for loving me the way you do.

As an adult who was sleep trained by "crying it out" I can also say that I have never harbored ill feelings towards you, felt abondoned, or affected by my sleep schedule as an infant.  Infact, I don't remember any of it, the only thing I remember is being able to go to bed by myself at a young age, and if I woke back up at night, being able to put myself back to sleep again.

So thank you for loving me, Mom, and for respecting my need to sleep, even when at first I protested.

Love your daughter,

Lacey Miller

(If you want the references to where I got my facts I can give them to you, they are facts shown and proven by doctors and psychiatirsts with real degrees and real results)

(for anyone looking for a wonderful book to help parents learn how to sleep train their children, this has been my favorite, and I HIGHLY reccomend it  Below is the amazon link.  The book is entitled "Healthy sleep habits happy child" and is by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.)

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1384185231&sr=1-1&keywords=healthy+sleep+habits+happy+child

Grateful for the tantrums

I've had a thought going through my mind a lot the past few weeks, and I've decided to share it.  Over the past two months Elijah has really gotten his personality, and his infant defiance.  He throws food on the floor, plays with things he knows he's not supposed to, and throws a huge tantrum when he doesn't get his way.  I know, I know, completely normal behavior for a child nearing the age of one, but every time Elijah does one of these things, for the first few seconds I begin to feel slightly frustrated, but then I am washed over with gratitude, because he is acting NORMAL, and that is a very good thing,

Here is a picture of me last July or so before Elijah was born.  My brother and his family came to visit for a few days, and we were able to get into the Shedd Aquarium.  It was a blast, and the best part was my sister-in-law who is amazing with a camera took some shots of me with my belly.  Here's one of my favorites. 

 Like every first time parents Erik and I really had no clue what was coming, but we were excited.  We were prepared for the long nights, seemingly endless tears, and all that comes with having a new born.  What we weren't prepared for, though, was the size of our son's head.

As I've mentioned before, Elijah ended up being an emergency c-section because his head was just too big to leave my body.  That should have been our first clue.  It wasn't a big surprise though, all of my nieces and nephews have large heads and many if not all of them have had some kind of a test run whether it be an ultra sound or a CAT scan to check the size of their head, but even with the knowledge that this is a normal occurrence with my gene pool, the fear was still there when the pediatrician told me that I needed to take Elijah to go see a neurologist about the size of Elijah's head.  Logic told me he was fine, this happened with all "Stokes" babies, but even with that knowledge, the fear was there.  It worsened when the neurologist checked out my little man and told me that there were some reflex issues, and that Elijah needed to have an MRI done.  An MRI?  That was much more than a CAT scan or an ultrasound.  My worries began to grow, and by the time the day came for the MRI, I was very nervous.  The procedure went well though, and then the doctor called.  He said that most things looked good, but that Elijah had more fluid in his brain than most people, which can lead to problems.  He said that it was probably nothing, but that we would have to keep seeing the neurologist every few months and other MRI's might be needed.  About a month later we went back for Elijah's head check up.  The doctor told me that he looks great, his reflexes are now where they should be, and that as long as Elijah keeps developing normally, than there is nothing to worry about.

So bring on the food being thrown on the floor, bring on the tantrums, bring on the refusal to nap,bring on the frustration when the triangle won't go through the circle slot on his shape shorter.  I am grateful for every single one of these things that Elijah does, because it means he is normal, and that is what I want most.

In September the Miller family was able to go to the Shedd Aquarium.  So after a year and few months from the picture above, this is the most recent one.

Same balcony, and very similar pose, but with Elijah on the outside, which is oh so much better.  This little man means the world to me, and I just continually pray that he will keep being "normal" even when that entails the hardships of being a new mom.

Lacey Miller

This is Happiness

At the beginning of September my sister-in-law and brother-in-law were able to come for a visit from France where they are living to receive their master's degrees.  Although their stay was short, way too short, we did find time to have family photos taken.  The last photos we had of all of us were at their wedding, which was in August of 2011.  The photographer we picked for the most recent photo shoot was PHENOMENAL, and here's why.  Just check out some of these shots.

But out of all of these, here is my absolute most favorite, and the reason for the title of this post

For this, my friends, is true happiness.  Sure we have our trials, sure things aren't perfect in our lives, but we have each other, and we are a family, and for that, I am eternally grateful.  Thanks Erik and Elijah for continuing to give me such a good reason to stay strong, and find happiness.  I love you both!

Lacey Miller

10 months craziness

So when Elijah was born, we decided that every time he reached another month old we would take a picture of him with a sign announcing how old he was so that in the future we can look back on him and "ooo" and "ahh" over how much her grew last month.  Instead of posting the pictures again, you can refer to my earlier post "Elijah Overload" where months 1-9 or posted.  Today marked month ten, and wow, it's amazing how much Elijah has learned to move in a month! Here is a picture story of how our photo shoot went.

 and finally, after two separate photo shoots and over 35 pictures later, we got this one.

Happy ten months little man, we sure do love you!

Lacey Miller

A bottle-feeding mother's view on the breast-feeding battle

Alright people I just really need to vent about something for a minute.  In the past several years much research has come out that proves that breastfeeding is "better" than bottle feeding.  I do not disagree with this, nutritional wise for the child, breast feeding is best, but lets not forget here people that the baby isn't the one responsible for producing the breast milk.  This post is for all those mothers out there who desperately wanted to breastfeed because "breast is best" and ended up going through a very unpleasant place in trying to be the "perfect mom" who exclusively breast feeds. 

I know that for almost all woman, after their child is born one of the first things that the doctors have them do is put their child to their breast to begin to nurse.  For many new mothers, this works very well.  The child hungrily latches on and sucks and sucks until he or she begins getting the colostrum from the mother.  This colostrum eventually turns into very healthy breast milk, and the baby gets all of it's needed nutrition and much of its comfort from breast feeding.  Sure the mother is going to experience some pain as her body gets use to breast feeding, but is definitely worth it to have your little one so close to you and receiving their much nutrition from your body.  For those moms out there nodding their heads yes, that is how it goes, well congratulations to you.  Seriously, I'm happy that you were blessed with a child that latched on quickly and with breasts that produced thoroughly, but did you know that it doesn't always happen that way?  Did you know that there are such things as inverted nipples that make it very difficult for an infant to latch onto?  Did you know that there are conditions such as low milk supply?  Depression and anxiety that greatly affect the amount and quality of the breast milk produced?  And many other things that can greatly affect breastfeeding?  Well let me tell you a little story about myself.

When I was in college I got a bachelors degree psychology.  I spent many classes learning about how the female body produces milk and how breast feeding is much better for the mother and baby than bottle feeding.  As I went through these classes and learned these things I vowed to be a "good mom" and to do whatever it would take to breast feed my children, because I wanted the best for them.

During my pregnancy I prepared for breastfeeding.  I bought a breast pump, breast feeding pillows, nipple cream, the works.  I just knew that it was going to work because I was "taught" that it only doesn't work if the mother is lazy and doesn't have the pain tolerance to deal with adjusting to have a little human suck their needed nutrition out of their body. 

The day finally came for delivery.  I went in so excited, but after eleven hours of labor, the doctors learned that my son's head was too big to fit through my birth canal, and an emergency c-section was scheduled.  I'll never forget the joy of hearing my son's first cry as the doctor delivered him, and I watched in pain as my husband got to spend the first forty-five minutes of my son's life without me as my body was being sewn back up.  Finally I was allowed in the delivery room where I instantly drew my son to my breast, so ready to begin being a "good mother" and breast feeding my son.  I put him up to my breast, and he didn't take it.  I tried everything the nurse could recommend, but no matter what we did my son would not latch on.  Due to his size and being so big he had to eat within the hour in order to get certain blood tests done, so I had to give up my first breast feeding attempt and feed him some formula for the blood tests.  I would not be deterred, though, and I knew that it would be the only bottle of formula he would ever need.

As the night went on they brought my son in to feed every three or four hours.  (he was born a big boy, 9 pounds, 6 ounces and therefore didn't eat as often as a regular newborn.  Lucky me, I know!)  They brought him in, but after trying and trying, he again wouldn't latch on.  The nurse showed me how to use the hospital breast pump, and I tried to get milk that way, to no avail.  I was assured this was normal.  I also knew that it took time to for the milk to come in, especially with a c-section, so I patiently waited for my body to start responding.

After three days recovering in the hospital, my breasts were still milkless.  The hospital sent me home with a $900 breast pump on loan for a dollar a day until my body was producing enough milk.  As I was preparing to leave the hospital nurse after nurse came in, reminding me the importance of breast feeding and sticking with it till it worked, and after all of that, I began to cry.  It had been three days and I hadn't even gotten colostrum.  My son refused to latch, and the few times he did, he wouldn't suck.  I was discouraged and mad at myself.  What had I done wrong?  How was I failing at being a "good mom?"  I left the hospital feeling guilty that I couldn't provide food for my son, and determined to do so.

After arriving home the pumping began.  Every two hours I would pump my breasts for thirty minutes, trying to encourage milk supply.  I would get some piddly amounts, and it was barely enough to feed my son.  During the nights I was getting up every two hours to keep my milk supply going, afraid that if I slept longer I would lose what little supply I had.  When I tried to breastfeed my son he still wouldn't latch on, and even if he did, which was rare, he would only suck two or three times and then fall into such a deep sleep that he couldn't be wakened.  We were putting my breast milk into bottles to feed him, and I continued to have to pump every two hours.  Slowly my body began to become so tired that I couldn't function.  I wasn't thinking properly, and then I was hit over the head with two tons of cement, called depression and anxiety.

Along with pumping every two hours, I was having an anxiety attack every three or four.  My thoughts began to scare me, and my body was so drained that I wondered if I should just end everything.  I couldn't let my son down though, I had to breast feed him.  As he grew the first week, though, he began drinking more than I could produce, and the guilt of not being able to feed my own son continually grew on me.  My nipples started bleeding from being pumped so much, and my mental state was continually worsening to the point where I could barely stand to be in the same room as my son.  I was scared to be alone with him, and felt like a failure because I couldn't breast feed him.  During this time I saw lactation specialists.  I talked to nurses and breast feeding hotlines.  Everything they reccomended didn't work for me.  Finally I ended up in OB's office.  That was the best day of my life.

As we talked about my failure at breast feeding I completely lost it and once again burst into tears.  I told him how I was a failure and how I could barely keep my son fed.  He listened to me quietly, and after I calmed down said, "I have a question for you.  What do you think is more important?  A breast fed baby with an unstable mother who is having several anxiety attacks a day or a formula fed baby with a stable mother who can cuddle and play with him"  I looked at him, and said the latter.  he said "you are right.  No more breast feeding.  Go buy some formula, and dry up your breasts.  You have to be well in order for you son to be well."  Those few minutes with the doctor changed my life.  I left the doctors office and bought some formula.  When I got home it was time to eat, so we mixed up a bottle and and fed it to my son.  He actually drank it without complaining.  That night I was able to sleep for more than two hours, and things slowly started turning around for me.

It was after the doctors appointment that I realized that breast feeding your child doesn't make you a good mother.  Neither does bottle feeding.  What makes a good mom is a woman who knows what works best for her and for her family. For many women that is to breast feed.  The child latches on, the mothers body produces fully, and that's great.  For other woman though, it is not worth the battle.  I was on the brink of ending everything I had going for me, all because of the pressure I felt to breast feed, because only "good moms" breast feed.  Well I want to tell everyone that that's not true, because I am a good mom, and I bottle feed my son.  I can still have quiet alone time with him without him being at my breast.  I can still bond with him and share special moments.  You don't need to breast feed to be able to have that connection with your baby.

So if you are a new mother, and feel like a failure because breast feeding just isn't working for you, don't.  It's ok.  How your child receives their nutrition doesn't matter, as long as they receive it, and they are loved.

Vent over.  If you found it a little harsh, sorry, but I want to get this out there for all those moms who don't breast feed.  Please know, that you are still a good mom.

Lacey Miller

A Hip Tale

Once upon a time in a land called Chicago there lived a young woman with her loving husband and with his loving parents.  This young woman was pregnant with her first son, and they family was exstatic to welcome the little one into the world.

Finally after waiting and waiting for the little one to come, the time came, and labor was induced.  The young woman spent several hours trying to be "tough" and deliver naturally, but after several hours she decided to embrace the blessings of this day and age, and she received an epidural.

After the epidural the young couple anxiously awaited their little one's arrival, but for some reason, he was not coming.  Eventually the doctors figured out that the child's head was too big to leave the woman's body, so a c-section was scheduled, and after being in labor for eleven hours, the young boy was born.

It was a time of much rejoicing for the new little family.  The new mother got settled into her hospital room and she and her husband spent time getting to know their little one.  As night time approached the new father went home to sleep and to let the new mother rest.  She bid farewell to her new son who spent the night in the hospital nursery, and she quickly fell asleep.

During the middle of the night she was awakened by pain.  Many would call this natural and very normal, a woman who just had a nine pound six ounce baby cut out of her is sure to feel pain, but the pain was not in the incission, it was in her hip.  The pain became so intense that the young woman almost began to cry.  She buzzed for the nurse who came in and gave her some pain medication to help with the hip, and the medication dulled the pain, but it never fully left.

After discussing this pain with the doctor the conclusion was reached that after the epidural was given and the bottom half of the young girl's body was numb, her legs were spread very wide eagle, and therefore caused the pain in her hip.  The doctor said that it should get better with time, and the young woman sure hoped so.

Over the next several days as her incision healed the hip continued to hurt.  With time the pain slowly subsided until it was gone.  The young woman thought that the pain was finally over, finished, never to return.  She thought this for a long time, until the barometric pressure changed as a storm came rolling in, and her hip began hurting again.

And to this day this young woman of only twenty-five years can predict when storms are coming because her hip starts hurting.  It is a pain in the hip, but it is one of the sacrifices that she gave in order to have her son.

Tonight is no different.  The day was sunny and warm, but in the last hour and a half a storm has zoomed in and my hip has let me know that there is changes in the weather outside.  And this is the tale of Lacey Miller's weather predicting hip.

First Trip to the Zoo

Being raised in Idaho there will never be a state that I will love more.  I miss Idaho terribly, but there are some amazing perks to being in Chicago.  One of these perks is the library system out here!  The libraries are HUGE and they have practically EVERYTHING.  Want to watch a new release?  Hit up the library, they get all the new movies, and renting them is free.  It is awesome.  Another awesome thing they do is every week they have two free zoo passes.  On Monday morning Erik called me and mentioned that I should go and try to get them since they go so fast, and luck would have it that I did get them!  We decided to take a little family outing, just Erik, Elijah, and me, and it was so fun!  We took over eighty pictures, but don't worry, I'm only going to post a few. :)

Our day started off at the camel exhibit!  The camels were one of the few animals Elijah actually watched.  (We went to the zoo for me, we knew that Elijah wouldn't really know any difference between the zoo and anywhere else. )

After the camels we hit up the Giraffes.  They were one of my favorites, I've never seen a giraffe in real life before, and they are pretty cool.

We meandered around looking at Rhinos and zebras, and all other sorts of fun things.  About half way through we passed a bathroom so I stopped in, giving Erik charge of the camera.  This is what happened while I was gone.

Erik Was so proud of his photo skills.

Although most of our pictures were taken of just animals, we did have one park attendant offer to take a family picture for us which was nice!

We kept wandering around and found the polar bear exhibit.  Just for the record, Polar Bears are HUGE!!!  Elijah also really liked being able to stand up by the glass and pound on it.  By far his favorite part of the zoo

We ended up going to the zoo on Thursday because it was the coolest day of the week, but the temperature was still in the upper 80's.  Elijah was getting restless in his stroller so he rode on our shoulders for a bit.  It's so nice that he is bigger now and we can do so much more with him!

Another one of my favorite exhibits was the penguins.  I've always loved penguins, and after watching them for a while Elijah started flapping his arms like they were.  Whether he meant to do it or not, who knows, but it sure was cute!

While walking between exhibits we passed a huge wall with face cutouts to take picture in.  Who can resist to stop when you have a little boy as cute as this!

After spending several hours walking around we were all getting pretty tired, so we stopped to see the monkeys on our way out.  They were pretty neat, and I think we would have enjoyed them even more if we hadn't been so tired.

We thought this gorilla looked like he had been sent to time out.  It made us laugh

After swinging by real quick to see the large cats we headed home.  It was a really fun trip and we all had a good time.  It was nice to get out just the three of us and spend some time together.  We are hoping to do more things like this in the future.

Lacey Miller

Elijah Overload

So I was sitting around tonight, just waiting for it to get late enough to be justifiable to go to bed, when I thought that I should post something on my blog.  I then started thinking about my blog and realized that I haven't posted anything for a long, long time, and that I had a decision to make.  Either start posting more frequently, or give up the blog all together.  By the fact that you are reading this post, I guess you can tell that I've decided to try to keep blogging and to do so more often.  There is a lot to catch you up on, lets see how I can do.

So last you heard, Elijah was born and we celebrated Christmas and New Years.  I'm now going to zoom through the past eight months, so prepare yourselves, it is probably going to be a bit crazy!

Also, as a disclaimer, the next photos/videos aren't going to be in perfect order. :)  Also, there is probably going to be a bit of an "Elijah overload,"  but hey, it's my blog, and he is my son, so I guess I have the right to overload on him once in a while. :)

So to start off, here is how much Elijah has grown month by month.  He is a wonderful child and every day I am so thankful to have him in my life!

Picture 5 is in a different chair then the others because we made an emergency trip to Utah two days before Elijah's five months mark.  That trip will be explained later in the blog.

So there you have it.  Elijah by the month.  The helmet will also be explained in a bit.

This next little segment is going to be a bunch of "firsts" for Elijah.  There are several videos and tons of pics, so be prepared!

This is Elijah and me watching "The Music Man" which was his first musical.  It's hard to believe he was once so small!  (for Elijah)

This is Elijah's first time outside in the snow!  We had to put him in his bumbo covered with a sheet so that is why he looks so awkward and uncomfortable!

This is Elijah after his first round of vaccinations.  The poor kid was so loopy and fell asleep in this position, something he has only done this one time.

These are pics that Elijah sent out for his first valentines day!

This video is the first time Elijah successfully got something in his mouth all by himself.  The little animal Muppet used to be Kevin's, but not anymore! Lol.

This is Elijah's, (and my) first blackhawks hockey game!  It was AWESOME!  The best part is Kevin got free tickets up in the seats from a guy he works with, so we had the best seats in the house, and free food!

This is Elijah's first time riding in the front of the cart instead of being confined to his car seat.  He absolutely loves being out and being able to see!  And now he doesn't even need the coats to prop him up. :)

This is the first time Elijah rolled over.  We were lucky to get it on tape!  My favorite part is how we cheer like the winning goal of some sports game has just been made!

 

This isn't the first time Elijah laughed but is the best laugh we have on tape.

 This is Elijah's first Easter!  The Easter Bunny brought him TWO baskets!  Guess that's how it goes when you live with Grandma and Grandpa. :)

We went over to our good friend's the Bostroms for Easter dinner, where Elijah became acquainted with Casey, the best dog ever!

This is the first time Grandpa let Elijah play his ipad.  Elijah has been addicted ever since!

This is the first time Elijah really took to a teether.  Now he chews on them like they are candy.  He has six teeth currently and is still working on who knows how many more!

During Elijah's first conference in April 2013 we had to take a dinner break, but thanks to ipads and technology, we were able to continue conference on the ipad while he ate!

This is the first time I took Elijah to a park to ride the swings.  Obviously he didn't find it too exciting, but I had a good time taking him!  He enjoys it much more now.

 This is his first time eating out with the family like a big kid!  He got a quesadilla and loved the fruit cup that came with it!  The restaurant is Uncle Julios.

This is the first time that Elijah figured out that he is not confined to stay in the same place where we sit him down.  He started scooting like this with his hands, then quickly went to his belly to army crawl like he mostly does now.

This is the first time Elijah pulled himself up.  We were outside shingling our roof so we had him down on the grass with this gate around him, and he decided it was time to stand up and get a better view of things.

This was the first time we put him in one of those shopping cart cars.  He loved it so much we decided to get him his own!

And here he is cruising around in his very first car!

And just last week we took Elijah to his first Chicago Cubs baseball game!

The next segment of pictures are from our emergency trip out to Utah in April.  Heidi's father, Grandpa Chris, was not doing well, and very quickly deteriorated.  Doctors soon found out that he was suffering from cancer, and so we packed up one night and headed out to drive the 26 hours to Provo Utah to see him before he passed.  It was a sad reason to have to go, but we are grateful that we were able to make it before he passed on to the next life.  The following pictures are from that trip.

We were really worried about how Elijah would do on the drive out there, but he shocked us all and drove himself!  :)  He did really well, sat patiently the whole way and was absolutely wonderful.  It was a true blessing.

Thankfully we were blessed to make it in time so that Elijah could meet his Great Grandpa Chris.  We were all so grateful to finally be in Utah after twenty-six straight hours in the car.  The trip was adventurous though.  Kevin got pulled over for speeding and following too close, and before that we literally coasted into small town in Wyoming because we were literally out of gas.  We made it though, and it was good to be with Great Grandpa in his last days.

This is a picture that hung on the wall in Great Grandpa Chris's house.  It is a picture of him and his wife, Della.  She passed away about three and a half years before Great Grandpa.  It was sure interesting to watch Elijah just stare at her picture, It was clear that our little Elijah remembered her.  He even kept reaching out to her, as if he wanted her to hold him.

After making the trip to Utah I wasn't coming back to Chicago without seeing my family too!  I was blessed to be able to see my grandparents as well.  Elijah loved meeting his great Grandma and Grandpa Fillmore and his Great Grandma Stokes.  Sadly we forgot to take a picture with Grandma Stokes!

I was also able to make it to Idaho for just a few days to my parents.  It was really fun to be with them even though the circumstances for being there were sad.  Elijah loved playing with Grandma and Grandpa Stokes, and as you can see, Grandma even shared her ipad with Elijah.  That is a sure way to make Elijah your instant best friend!

We also got to see Uncle Brandon while we were in Idaho!  Sadly he was working so we didn't get to see him for long, but it was good for Elijah to meet his uncle!

While traveling we ended up stopping at lots of McDonalds to take advantage of their free WiFi and outlets for our bottle warmer.  Feeding Elijah in a restaurant high chair was interesting, and he usually ended up looking like this when he was done, covered in food!

The trip home was a little harder for the little man than the trip to Utah.  He really started getting wiggly the last few hours.  This picture has been added because he actually put that block up there all by himself as if to say, "look Mom, I'm so bored I'm balancing blocks on my head.  Are we there yet!"

We finally arrived home safe and sound, only to discover an animal had crawled under our side porch and died, leaving a very smelly carcass that needed to be removed.  Long story short, Heidi and I ended up digging it out, and it was GROSS!  I won't share the story though unless anyone reading this has recently eaten.  To sum it up, it was DISGUSTING, and if it ever happens again, the boys are in charge of removing it!

Anyone bored yet?  If so, go ahead and stop, we are only about half way done. :)  This is why I need to blog more often.  The next set of pics are completely random and in no specific order.  They are just fun memories and moments that I want to share.

Just a good classic smile from the little man.  This picture also shows how bad Elijah's Torticollis is/was.  Torticiollis is a condition where one side of the neck was underdeveloped in the womb, leading to a tilt in the head position after birth.  We have been and are continuing to go to physical therapy to help his neck get better, and thankfully it is working wonderfully!  Also, due to the torticollis, Elijah had plagiocephally, which basically means a misshapen head.  This is currently being fixed by a cranial helmet, which you will see in some pictures in the next little bit.

This is Elijah helping me cook dinner one night.  He was in a very clingy mood so I ended up just toting him around while I did my chores.

Elijah really liked sitting down with his Dad while he did homework.  He even has in own keyboard to practice on!

This is just a cute picture of me and my little man!

When Elijah still slept in his cradle we often would walk in to get  him in the mornings and find him like this, all buried in his blankets and peeking out. So cute!

We took Elijah to get some professional photos done, and this was the best result.  He looks like quite the little mobster!

One day during the spring it got REALLY hot, and we came up with this goofy picture.  The club comes from of our family games called "Ugh Techt."  I highly recommend the game for anyone looking for a good, fun, family friendly and relatively easy game!

This is Erik's and my favorite picture of Elijah!  I was trying to get a good smile with my phone camera, and this is what I got.  Talk about possessed!  It makes us giggle, especially when we are having a bad day!

This is Elijah reading stories with Grandpa.  I loved his little feet sticking out!

Just a little mini shopping cart we saw in a bookstore

 Before Elijah was moving around and such, he HATED tummy time!  This is one of the few times I got him to do it without completely losing it.

This pic is one of our favorite memories.  Elijah was just chillin in the bumbo playing away, when he just started falling asleep!  So funny!

Phew!  Tons and tons of pictures!  next is an overview of the trip Elijah and I took to Idaho in July.  A few weeks before the trip, I was personally in a really dark place.  My depression was out of control, worse then it has ever been, and I was really searching for happiness again.  In my search, a counselor reccomended that I make a trip to Idaho to see my folks, and it was exactly what I needed!  We were able to figure out a way to get me there, and for that I send out a huge thanks to my Mom and Dad!

The next few pictures/videos come from our trip to Yellowstone Bear world.  We went because I wanted to go, not because we thought Elijah would like it.  He was too young to appreciate it, but he sure liked riding in the front of the car for a while and looking at all the buttons on the dash board!  At the end we took Elijah on his first carnival rides, and he was "quite amused" by them as you will see in the following videos.

Also while we were in Idaho we were able to see Uncle Brandon again!  We took him dinner from Olive Garden and had a good time catching up while we ate really good food!

We also spent some good quality time with Grandma and Grandpa Stokes!  It was also really fun to take Elijah to church and to see all the many people that taught me as I grew up.

Also, while in Idaho we were able to help Grandma and Grandpa cut down the huge pine tree that use to be in our front yard.  Elijah was able to watch from the sidelines with Grandma while Grandpa, Brother Balls, and I took the tree down!  Here is the remains after our heard work!

The trip to Idaho was wonderful but all good things must come to an end!  On the flight home Elijah had some issues with being really fussy on the planes, but I did get this one cute picture before the plane filled up!

Even with all his crying on the flights we made it home safe and sound.  It was a wonderful vacation, and truly helped me feel much better!

The next set of pictures are just showing how much our little man likes water!  The first time we tried swimming it didn't go to well, he screamed like a maniac, but ever since then he has loved going swimming and bath time!

And we are in the home stretch!  Here is the last set of pictures.  These are the most recent pics and videos of Elijah!

In the past month or so Elijah has really learned how to crawl/scoot.  He started by doing this army scoot, then he learned to crawl, and now, even though he has the ability to crawl, he prefers to scoot like this!  I think a big part of it has to do with the wood floors!  He cracks us up!

The next photos are of little Elijah with his cranial helmet!

 In this one Elijah is downing his lunch of peaches and avocados!

 This is how I found him one day after our drive home from physical therapy

 Now that he can pull himself up he loves looking out the windows

He also loves to climb in the dishwasher.  We try to stop this whenever he gets close to doing it!

These last three pics were taken at a park near our home.  It was a beautiful day so we took advantage of it and snapped some photos!

So there you have, the year of 2013 so far in a nutshell.  If you are still reading this, then cudos to you for enduring to the end!  Erik and I are happy and are doing well.  Last Tuesday we were blessed to be able to go to the temple where we both received a strong impression that even though our lives aren't going as we thought they would, that we are on the exact path that God needs us to be on, and that he is watching over us a guiding us.

As for a quick update on Erik, he is now officially done with his master classes!  He is now working on his thesis and then he will have his masters degree!  He is currently in the process of gathering research to finalize his proposal.  He is doing his thesis on the interaction/relationship between religion and politics, and he is very excited for it!  I love seeing him excited about his school work.  Now that he is done with classes he is also out hunting for a full time job, so we are praying for that to come through!

As for me I have started teaching piano lessons and absolutely love it!  With a little of the extra income we are debating on starting me on some voice lessons, just because I would love it and feel that there is so much more I can do with my voice.

Basically life is hard, but good, and we are sticking through and learning more and more every day.  Thanks to all of you who are our cheerleaders, we appreciate it!

Lacey Miller