Grateful for the tantrums

I've had a thought going through my mind a lot the past few weeks, and I've decided to share it.  Over the past two months Elijah has really gotten his personality, and his infant defiance.  He throws food on the floor, plays with things he knows he's not supposed to, and throws a huge tantrum when he doesn't get his way.  I know, I know, completely normal behavior for a child nearing the age of one, but every time Elijah does one of these things, for the first few seconds I begin to feel slightly frustrated, but then I am washed over with gratitude, because he is acting NORMAL, and that is a very good thing,

Here is a picture of me last July or so before Elijah was born.  My brother and his family came to visit for a few days, and we were able to get into the Shedd Aquarium.  It was a blast, and the best part was my sister-in-law who is amazing with a camera took some shots of me with my belly.  Here's one of my favorites. 

 Like every first time parents Erik and I really had no clue what was coming, but we were excited.  We were prepared for the long nights, seemingly endless tears, and all that comes with having a new born.  What we weren't prepared for, though, was the size of our son's head.

As I've mentioned before, Elijah ended up being an emergency c-section because his head was just too big to leave my body.  That should have been our first clue.  It wasn't a big surprise though, all of my nieces and nephews have large heads and many if not all of them have had some kind of a test run whether it be an ultra sound or a CAT scan to check the size of their head, but even with the knowledge that this is a normal occurrence with my gene pool, the fear was still there when the pediatrician told me that I needed to take Elijah to go see a neurologist about the size of Elijah's head.  Logic told me he was fine, this happened with all "Stokes" babies, but even with that knowledge, the fear was there.  It worsened when the neurologist checked out my little man and told me that there were some reflex issues, and that Elijah needed to have an MRI done.  An MRI?  That was much more than a CAT scan or an ultrasound.  My worries began to grow, and by the time the day came for the MRI, I was very nervous.  The procedure went well though, and then the doctor called.  He said that most things looked good, but that Elijah had more fluid in his brain than most people, which can lead to problems.  He said that it was probably nothing, but that we would have to keep seeing the neurologist every few months and other MRI's might be needed.  About a month later we went back for Elijah's head check up.  The doctor told me that he looks great, his reflexes are now where they should be, and that as long as Elijah keeps developing normally, than there is nothing to worry about.

So bring on the food being thrown on the floor, bring on the tantrums, bring on the refusal to nap,bring on the frustration when the triangle won't go through the circle slot on his shape shorter.  I am grateful for every single one of these things that Elijah does, because it means he is normal, and that is what I want most.

In September the Miller family was able to go to the Shedd Aquarium.  So after a year and few months from the picture above, this is the most recent one.

Same balcony, and very similar pose, but with Elijah on the outside, which is oh so much better.  This little man means the world to me, and I just continually pray that he will keep being "normal" even when that entails the hardships of being a new mom.

Lacey Miller